Family influence on the mental development of a child
Modern family is in crisis. The rate of divorce is
catastrophically high. Its causes are alcoholism, drug addiction, cheating,
inability to financially support family and inadequate housing conditions. But
instability of family and loss of parents’ ability to properly raise their
children is to a great extent explained not by external, but internal factors
of life: the destruction of the Christian spiritual and moral family tradition,
falling of overall culture of human relationships, the ignorance of people in
the understanding of the spiritual meaning of family, marriage, fatherhood and
motherhood.
In such circumstances, birth and upbringing of a child is
perceived as a heavy, crushing burden. But even if a child is growing up in a
family, they are usually not aware of paternity and maternity, being actually
"an orphan whose parents are alive." Parents have lost the
psychological contact with children, so they are no longer able to recognize
and understand the real causes of nervous and mental breakdowns, suicides,
failure at school, bad behavior...
LB Schneider writes that the harmonious development of a
child is possible with the preservation and strengthening of health, defined as
a state of physical, mental and social well-being. Mental health includes the
welfare of a child in the emotional and cognitive sphere, development of
character and personality formation, nervous mental state of children (1,
p.461). This is only possible in a family. A child is part of family. Families
without children are not complete, as well as a child without a family. "A
child takes from a family all what is necessary for growth and development. In
turn, a family receives from the child all what is necessary for growth and
development" (2, p.287). There is a certain interdependence and
interaction going in both directions, from the child to the family and vice
versa.
Communication between parents and children are among the
most powerful human relationships. "The destruction of family unity
entails the destruction of paramount for the development of child's personality
sensual ties, micro development" (1, 469). The relationship between
parents and children is always closely linked to the relationship of the
parents, family lifestyle, health, well-being, happiness.
Friendly atmosphere, and a system of family relationships,
which gives a sense of security and at the same time stimulates and directs its
development, promotes the well-being of a child.
Emphasizing the specificity impact on the child of family
relations, LB Schneider particularly distinguishes parental love. "One has
to be conceived in love, and born in love and spend their entire childhood in
an atmosphere of love and mutual respect of men" (3, s117).
Love is the greatest and irreplaceable source of spiritual
development of children, emotions, moral values, self-confidence and major
attitude. It is a source of responsiveness, sensitivity, care and love for the
people.
Family for a child is the birthplace and the main habitat.
Influence of a family can be analysed as follows:
1. Family provides a basic sense of security to ensure the
child's safety when interacting with the outside world, development of new ways
to study and response.
2. Children learn from their parents certain modes of
behavior, learning some ready-made model of behavior.
3. Parents are the source of the required experience.
4. Parents influence child's behavior, encouraging or
condemning certain type of behavior, and applying sanctions or avoiding an
acceptable degree of freedom in child's behavior.
5. Communication in family allows the child to develop
their own views, norms, attitudes and ideas. Development of the child will
depend on precision and clarity of communication in the family.
Family is a definite morale, it represents school of
relationships with people for a child. It is in the family ideas of good and
evil, of decency, of respect for the material and spiritual values are
developed. Child gets the basics about the world in a family. They experience
feelings of love, duty, responsibility, fairness...
Children need both parents - a loving father and a loving
mother. The relationship between husband and wife have an enormous impact on
the development of a child. Conflict, tensions make the child nervous, whining,
disobedient and aggressive. Friction between parents has traumatic effect on
the baby.
Pathology of the marital relationship produces a wide range
of abnormalities. "People who surround a baby and the relationship that
prevails in the family, define the future life of a child, as he grows up:
tough and selfish or loving and kind person" (4, p.14).
Family in which a child grew up, provides a model for the
future family. Researchers have identified qualitative differences with respect
to mothers and fathers to raise their child in families. Age gap of the family
is when a husband and wife have a big difference in the age of 10-15 years or
more.
According to the data obtained in the experimental study,
researchers suggest that the family of the same age the main function of the
parent of custody and control lies with mother. She is more authoritarian in
the relationship with the child, symbiotically authoritarian. In interactions
with the child she demonstrates through repression, based on own needs and
ideas about what is best for the child, thereby suppressing child’s will and
needs. Father takes a more detached position, and is not a leader in this type
of family. The child has to actively express their needs and fulfill their own
activity. This situation is overprotective. In situations of the tension
between the parents and the child, the child is formed.
A child in a mixed-age family tends to take appraiser,
coordinator and facilitator roles. "The researchers suggest that such
changes in the child's position are determined by a complex organization of
interpersonal relationships between parents of different ages.
A child in a family is between competing positions. The
main condition for the formation of such functions is the mismatch positions of
mother and father.
In different-aged families there has been some shift in the
structure of the child-parent relationship. Men often take a position of
"husband-father" to the wife, and the wife to the husband -
"woman-child." This disposition of the role is self-sufficient. It is
also difficult for the child to be included in this family, as his position of
a "child" is already taken. Then they have to fight for their
importance in the family, for their object of consumption function of this social
system.
These studies confirm the fact that in a family with
parents of different ages position of mothers and children are close to each
other: they are allies and partners. Different aged fathers act as social
protection, they watch over and control their own child and wife. The father in
such a family is more authoritarian. These conditions allow the child to take a
position in the family of the child evaluator or facilitator, which generally
is the most common role for a senior and experienced actors in the organization
of activities.
Thus, children of differently aged parents are prone to
more complex forms of self-realization, and they realize their potential
through the evaluation and coordination of the actions of another person.
Family creates individual or destroys with the power of the
family to strengthen or undermine the mental health of the individual. The
process of family interaction selectively controls the display of emotions,
keeping some channels discharging emotions and suppressing others. Family
indicates the boundary identification, promoting the emergence of the
individual image of "I". Family identifies the risks that an
individual will encounter in life.
Experience of family relationships is important for the
child, not only in the formation of personality, certain patterns of behavior
and relationships with others. It is also an essential foundation on which the
child builds the perception of God, fellowship as well as forming the mental
development of the child.
Parents are not born. You need to work hard to become a
parent. It is the natural law of life. Human history shows us that the starting
point is the development of family life and relationships with parents.
"One of the most important and sacred roles of a person – to be a father
or mother - requires a minimum of health and maturity. But only personal
approach can move this opportunity closer to the reality" (5, p.154).
Harmony of parenthood brings a child into the adult world.
Authority and leading by example of his father and mother are the main factors
of growing, raising mental and spiritual health of an individual.
Literature
1. Schneider LB Family Psychology. - M, 2005
2. Family psychotherapy. Eidemiller EG, N. Alexandrova NV,
Yustitskis V. - Piter, S-P., Moscow, Kharkov, Minsk, 2000
3. Lesgaft PF. Family and its value. - M.:
"Education", 2011
4. Monin G., Lyutova E. Problems of a little man. –
Saint-Petersburg, Rech, 2002
5. Family culture: Manual / Comp.: Khramova NG, Alekseeva
G., Sarajeva A. - Kostroma: VPO KSU named after Nekrasov, 2005
6. Journal of Practical Psychology № 6, 2005
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