"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said. I think our ancestors - I think human beings have been wondering about this question since they sat around their campfires or lay and watched the stars a million years ago. Around the world, people love. They sing for love, they dance for love, they compose poems and stories about love. They tell myths and legends about love. They pine for love, they live for love, they kill for love, and they die for love. As Walt Whitman once said, "O I would stake all for you." Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They've never found a society that did not have it.
What is love? It's a hard term to define in so far as it has a very wide application. I can love jogging. I can love a book, a movie. I can love chocolate. I can love my boy friend.
But there's a great difference between chocolate and my boy friend, for instance. That is, if I value the chocolate, the chocolate, on the other hand, doesn't value me back. Whereas my boy friend, he calls me the star of his life.
In trying to understand romantic love, I have read poetry from all over the world, and I just want to give you a part of my favourite poem:
You are the only one whom I,
Perfecting drawbacks of a sinner,
Will sing about roads, - oh my!-
The parting life of misdemeanour.
So when I fall in love, I focus my attention on the very person I love. I aggrandize him. But I have intense energy. I felt like jumping in the sky. I am up all night. I feel intense elation when things are going well; mood swings into horrible despair when things are going poorly. Real dependence on this person. I can list what I don't like about him, but then I sweep that aside and focus on what I do. As Chaucer said, "Love is blind." If anyone asked me:"What percentage of the day and night do you think about this person?"And indeed, I would say, "All day. All night. I can never stop thinking about him or her." Real obsession!
I began to realize that romantic love is not an emotion. In fact, I had always thought it was a series of emotions, from very high to very low. But actually, it's a drive. It comes from the motor of the mind, the wanting part of the mind, the craving part of the mind. The kind of part of the mind when you're reaching for that chocolate. The motor of the brain. It's a drive.
I think you will agree with me the eternal problem of love is how to become and remain desirable for life. It is easy, I must confess. I call upon tenderness - love as tenderness. What is tenderness? To be tender is to accept the loved one's weaknesses. It's not about becoming a sad couple of orderlies. That's pretty bad. On the contrary, there's plenty of charm and happiness in tenderness.
Ok, I’d like to sum up by saying that love is unpredictable, love is creative, love requires communication and discipline, it is frustrating and emotionally demanding. And love involves both joy and pain. Ultimately, each experience of love is different.
I am crazy about shooting films and I want to finish my speech with the video. I hope you will enjoy it.
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